She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Ketchup is God's man juice
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
