I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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