Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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