I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
