You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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