fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
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eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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