i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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