I can text with my tongue
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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