shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize