God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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