She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
