did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize