Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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