dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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