the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
