So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
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I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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