wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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