I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
