I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
