The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
