office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
