And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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