We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
