drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it glows. i had to have it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
