I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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