It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
