Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
