can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize