I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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