Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
