You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize