I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
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she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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