I'm really into asian looking animals
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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