i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
