Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
