discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
