you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
