Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
