Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
