Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
