i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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