Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
