Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
