I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
