A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
