one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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