Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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