dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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