last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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