dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
