I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
