At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
