You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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