last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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