She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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