I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize