Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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