He is an equal opportunity slut.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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