when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
