Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
