last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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