i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
