Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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