My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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