I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
