and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
